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不過，並非所有事都有最後答案。記得新婚初期，他 曾對 太太說：「有沒有搞錯！用完廁所竟不把馬桶蓋打開！」對方的反應是：「有沒有搞錯！用完廁所又不把馬桶蓋放下！」最後小倆口後取得共識，就是馬桶蓋可開可闔。
「哈哈！他有時做些小動作，會令我很開心。」 黃 太太邱楚賢常常笑口常開，不無原因。「好像有次整理床鋪，枕頭底竟放了一份小禮物，在毫無心理準備下收禮物，感到非常非常開心。」
Houn-Lin Huang heard the name of the person, and I dare say most of the Sha Tin is not because he is the president of Christian College, but his wife methods, widely known name. He was introduced in the new millennium's first Budget is "We Care portrait of his wife 48-style", so that men's breathtaking, Ms. hearts desire, eager to own the other half to follow. In which he shared with his wife of 48 unique recipe, creative full. Behind the creative is a quarter of a century of experience in marriage, as well as amateurs to attend counseling programs bring enlightenment.
Revelation 1: sesame mung bean lead to conflict
Marriage, the most difficult thing is to avoid conflict. Even if they can get married, how sweet how to peaceful coexistence, after getting married, sesame mung beans can also be turned into a trivial conflict,黄校长unexpected, but the conflict has come so fast ... ... after the first meal, his wife cooking in the kitchen to the living room is read the newspaper, he shouted: "you clean up the table, ready to eat it."
黄校长to ultra-high-speed debris removal of the table and continue to serve, etc. Who knows his wife coming out of the kitchen has pale Shen. "Her mother to clean up the original definition of the table, not as long as the removal of debris, but also to the table completely polished, tableware set up. But I from small to big, only know how to clean up the table is the table to remove debris. "Such differences coming ... ...
There are times his wife told him: "You do not screw towel?" He is very upset, lived for so many years, no reason to even wring a towel did not know they could do that his wife has been a backhand twist a towel, he was the opposite.
All in all, brought him many revelation: "In the life of the details, you will find that there are many different each other, such as being considerate and tolerant with no heart, no one can become a trivial conflict fuse."
Revelation 2: Do not forcing the other side to change the
A marriage requires the couple are constantly learning how to appreciate, understand and adapt to accommodate a person.
"I have dealt with many cases and found that the breakdown of the marriage, all because of the lack of these concepts. In particular, people are always subjective bias will have a lot of self or normative criteria to evaluate other people."
One day he forgot to bring car keys, his wife said: "Do not call the car keys on you there." After he told the caller said: "I put there is a habit that if I put on your car keys designated place, only to have more opportunities to forget. "
He found that many people get married or unconsciously to change each other, small to squeeze toothpaste, put objects and so on, are not you and I, to the neglect should respect each other.
"Many do not matter right or wrong, after reflection, you will see the motive behind that is to control each other. This is not necessary because the wife is to live well together, not to come to control."
Revelation 3: after the most important communication
He also acknowledged that conflict is inevitable, the most important thing is that after the communication: "If put car keys this example, we understand each other's ideas and decided that my things from my responsibility placed on her by her display , to use, simply asked the caller will be able to. "
As twisted towel such thing, after he repeatedly verified, confirmed backhand is very clean wring more, so he also women to sing together with the husband.
Couples most often say is: "I want you to do is to Hello."黄校长believe that everything a little to be far-sighted.
"Is good for the other party, or for their own good? If you want to do these things the other side, may bring the other side more uncomfortable, more pressure will only result in another new problem."
Revelation 4: maintaining marriage as maintenance windows
However, not all things have a final answer. I remember the early wedding, he told his wife said: "there is no mistake! Toilet did not run out of toilet bowls to cover open!" His response was: "Is there any mistake! Used the toilet without the cap down the toilet!" Final After小俩口to reach a consensus, that is, the toilet can be opened to cover whole family.
"Many problems do not care about the outcome, there was only care about how people look at. The fact is not changed, but after understanding the problem does not exist."
Love a person, he thinks the ultimate sacrifice for each other.
Chopsticks horizontally habits, such as his wife, he used to put straight, make some compromises, then also fine. However, if only tolerance, not understanding, like marriage may break down. "I feel like a glass window on the marital problems of dust, if allowed to accumulate, clean-up will be difficult; if allowed to deepen, as cracks appeared, the windows will eventually be broken."
Beloved wife trick
Acknowledgment wife ◎ ads
20th anniversary of the date of marriage, Houn-Lin Huang specially published in the newspapers for a loving Acknowledgment revelation grateful to his wife of 20 years of his care. After holding flowers and newspapers, personally delivered to his wife's office.
◎ call v. heartfelt emotion
黄校长proverb: "Forever is not the school to be a good husband, never at home to be a good principal." Work, he never call to his wife, but one day a meeting open until 21 o'clock, he made an exception to call home said: "The meeting has not yet ended, but at the moment I am extremely preoccupying you." telephone the other side of instant laughter from Lang Lang.
◎ electric pot birthday card
Mrs. birthday in a year, pretending to have forgotten黄校长, but when his wife prepared to open the electric rice cooker to cook a meal, they find a birthday card; after into the bathroom and find a bouquet of flowers; in pajamas before going to bed to find a birthday present.
◎ day a hold
He studied for many years counseling and marriage counseling experience, it was decided a insists that his wife is to hold an adult's daily. Failed to meet "one day have" not to sleep. When it was discovered that this was resolved a major dispute between husband and wife panacea to the problem.
Wife: appreciate his little tricks
"Ha ha! He sometimes do a little trick will only make me very happy." Huang Qiu Chuxian wife often笑口常开, not without reason. "It seems there are times finishing beds, put a pillow at the end of even a small gift in the absence of psychological preparation for resumption of gifts, are very, very happy."
Then she will be how to respond to her husband's mind?
"Nothing special, as his wife, the most important thing is to understand her husband. As if he busy with work, so my wife's all hope that their husbands spend more time with their own, but standing on his position, he was like their work they are so into them, change is I will be true. "
Now if her husband was not at home, she would make their own arrangements for programming, enjoy personal space. In addition, "A lot of people will take their husbands husband comparison with others, in fact, this will only depress her husband. Men are most in need of my wife's respect, so the other half should continue to understand that love him."
Early marriage, the two couples, it is a bit of friction.
"In fact, we are in constant progress, there is a conflict, the most important thing is learning step back, stop for a while, will naturally be the elimination of anger."
Quarrel with the arts
Couple also have a gentlemen's agreement:
◎ ─ a quarrel with the day-ching under a not beating about the bush.
◎ ─ never quarrel over today's aircraft noise today, yesterday, things do not turn noisy.
◎ old had passed a ─ each event as an independent event, definitely not "implicated."
Most people get married longer, more like when a quarrel, said: your last week ... ... ... ... you endless counts, it is easy to turn into each other re-opening old wounds. Fortunately, Wong and his wife rarely quarrel weekdays a week, must do is to find time to work together to take a walk, to talk about his words.
Origin of marital conflict
Why are there so many marital conflicts? Chai Wan Baptist Church, director of counseling center黄丽彰said: "This is due to narrow the gap between the couple's feelings, it is easy to outstanding knot, eager to inspire them."
For example, most do not like the others某君self-centered, such as self-centered around a friend, he would not necessarily mind too, because between them there is a certain distance and tolerance. However, when the person with their distance so close to their hearts there will be anxiety, the latter will degenerate into allegations suppressed.
The conflict evolved into a trauma
Marriage is another stage in life, but also the beginning of the conflict. Couples from two different family backgrounds, it is easy due to the difference between living habits and causes of the conflict; have children, the will because of each other's views on the differences in education, resulting in a dispute. If a careless wounding exports, it will evolve into trauma.
Men, the self-worth based on ability, but his wife had said: you have no use 『』 will it shake the foundation of self-harm. Even if his wife emotional distress, the husband of her rehabilitation will be, as the capacity for individual performance, such as his wife continued unhappy, men will feel the same frustration.
As for women, self-worth based on the relationship between the above, such as her husband did not attach importance to her and deliberately ignored her, she would feel wounded, and even the collapse of the entire self-worth.
Knowingly big difference between men and women, why can not avoid the other injuries?
"Injury, in order to protect themselves, would be deliberately directed at the other places where the most vulnerable to attack, attack the party will fight back, only the relationship between the two is worse." Such as the low level of mutual self-restraint, often leads to divorce.
Search for spiritual space
黄丽璋that in the face of trauma, we should continue to present the wisdom to avoid injuries, especially with spouses speak constantly attacked themselves, refused to respond after all, the protection of his or her own way; after a space for himself, thinking how to play down the anger and memories of each other's good side. Talk to each other to share the feelings of the moment.
Taiwan's place of residence overcrowding, lack of the reality of space, but we still have a spiritual space.
"Spiritual space to expand through the reading, in reading, there will be a lot of rich messages, let you unknowingly entered a landmark Xintian. I found a lot of self-reflection of higher skills, self-growth are fast love reading . "